“I was looking back to see If you were looking back to see If I was looking back to see If you were looking back at me.You were cute as you could be Standing looking back at me And it was plain to see That I’d enjoy your company.~ From the song “Looking back to see” by Jim Ed Brown & Maxine Brown
I’ve kept all my calendars since senior year of High School when I moved out on my own. They are placeholders in time. Notes and clues scribbled in the little numbered squares. A voyeur’s voyage into my past. The ‘who’ I was and the goings on in my life. My mind wanders as I look over the worn and tattered collection that I’ve hauled around with me since I was 18. It is interesting to see what I had recorded. What trinkets of my young life that I had felt the need to track; work hours, the guys I thought were cute, when I’d gone to my favorite coffee shop, what albums I bought or later on during the years of my first marriage when I tracked our sex life with little symbols that represented the health of our union; to be sure the passion wasn’t waning and/or becoming too one sided.
That was over 30 years ago and today… Well, today as I am entering into my second childhood; having reached the ripe ‘old age’ of 50. I record what we eat for dinner each night, because it helps me remember what I did that day! I’ve tried to keep journals, but they keep getting started and dropped and started again and lost and on and on … I failed to fill them once the newness of the twitterpated honeymoon phase had worn off and I’d tarnished the clean white pages with ink scribbles from my chaotic thoughts.
Wow… I guess keeping a journal is a good way of showing that you can keep a commitment! Never thought about it like that before.
Journals are for our own entertainment. They don’t have to be some fancy pretty thing that sits on a shelf, although that’s a little more romantic, all you need is a plain notebook (ruled or blank). I prefer the “un”ruled ones, like the insubordinate rebel that I am. My preference is the artist’s sketch book, which allows me the freedom to play around with my thoughts. Using all kinds of colors, scribbling and pasting in mementos. All you really need is whatever book or paper format you find connection with that will make you want to put a “start” date on the front of, leaving a space where the “through” date will be entered, once the journal is full.
Archive it on your bookshelf of LOVE. That’s right. You heard me! Your bookshelf of everything you LOVE
Ah-Ha! I think I just may have found my new procrastination tool! This one though, will help me to limit my procrastination and become a real TOOL for success, instead of another source of distraction and self-destruction!
Isn’t it interesting where your mind wanders to? I started with a lyric from a song that my Grandma used to sing and ended up realizing that the power of a journal, in relation to a commitment, is like a relationship. I guess keeping a journal is a good way of showing that you can keep a commitment! Never thought about it like that before! It’s interesting to me, but I’ve never thrown out my journals, I’ve just never finished them. Kinda like my relationships throughout high school & college. Floating from one relationship to the next. I’ve never thrown away my love for the boyfriends I dated, I just moved on. My breakups were never heated angry words of passion or pain, they were just unanswered calls or literally my ‘moving’ on. Moving to a new place to live, a new city or town, even simply across town.
Now, in this time, we have many social media options as a way to connect to our past lives to our present. I have befriended those previous loves, who when we messaged each other would, (Yes, Each & Every One of them) ask me: “Whatever happened to us?” or “Why didn’t we ever get married?” There were no immediate answers, I would just reply: “I think we drifted apart”! Hmmmm… as I reflect now, I think… I don’t know, but I think that I did just the same with them… I drifted away…..
My breakups were never heated angry words of passion or pain, they were just unanswered calls or my literally my “moving” on.
Back in my youth, we didn’t have all the social connectivity that we have now. One could disappear and re-invent themselves to be whatever they wanted! Not really a luxury afforded to our youth today. How will they ever find options for escaping “who they were” to become “who they (might) want to be”?
Speaking of social media, I’ve found that I waste a lot of time there, procrastinating… So, maybe trying once again to journal, with this newly found awareness of commitment, Ah-Ha! I think I just may have found my new procrastination tool! Only this one will help me to limit my feckless procrastination on social media and become a real TOOL for success, instead of another source of distraction and self-destruction!!